I gave birth to a demon
His father is Satan
The horns and red tail
Made it so perfectly blatant

He threw up my dessert 
All eighteen flavours!
He dranks the blood of the car
And possessed half the neighbours

He only speaks in Latin
And watches violent porn
For Christmas he made me
A crown made of thorns

He can't handle happiness
But thinks corpses are cuddly
The creepy little bugger
Won't even say that he loves me

Yes after all the horrors
That's what the worst part is
Never have a one night stand
​With the Prince of Darkness

I lost your number on the 3five8
And missed our date near New Cross Gate
Meeting you was ducking great
But I accept this stubborn fate


So farewell then my South London love
It was special to meet one of us
But I still thank my fucky stars
​That you crossed my drunken path

He promised you jobs, security and wealth
He promised you greatness, in sickness and health
All is possible he said, if you hand him the crown
He’ll punish the criminals: the blacks and the browns
He’ll build a damn wall, and if, God forbids
Some still get over, he’ll deport their kids
He’ll deport their mothers, yeah that’ll teach em
Hell, some of his biggest fans might even lynch em
All these feminists and socialists are bound to fail
Who needs society when you’re an alpha male?
Fuck professors, social workers and therapists
They won’t help him kill the families of terrorists
He expects the cowering media to regard him as royal
He wants mountains of power and barrels of oil
He’s gonna milk the planet for all that it’s worth
And if that doesn’t work he’ll start nuking the earth
And if you believe this is just kicking up a stink
Take a look outside, it’s closer than you think
If he says the right things with his dramatic flair
Make way for the despot with comical hair